Hello everyone! This week my father has invited me to your guest blogger and explore any word that I desire.  I chose the word SELF-ESTEEM.

As defined by Merriam-Webster, SELF-ESTEEM is a confidence and satisfaction in oneself.

In other words, it is the pride and self-regard one has for one’s self. Typically, when discussing SELF-ESTEEM, we tend to think of how someone feels about their looks.  I read an article that suggested that people choose who they will approach based on how they think they look.  Basically, if you think you are a 10 on a scale of 1 to 10 based on attractiveness, you will approach someone you believe is a 10 as well.  In the study, psychologists had a test group of 10 people consisting of 5 men and 5 women grade their own looks on a scale of 1 to 10. They then lined the participants up, ladies in one line, guys in the other, and had them pick one of the opposite sex to whom they were attracted. If you guessed each were paired off unconsciously with someone who had equivalent or remotely close scoring, you are right! This made me think that maybe SELF-ESTEEM is not something that is affected entirely by external factors.

I grew up without my father present like many African American females. I had to hear my worth from boys with bad intentions and only one thing on their mind.  The smart girl sees through the smoke they blow, cries at the false hope, and moves on to the next guy. What sticks are the compliments that are tangled up in the games played; they are the framework of some young girl’s SELF-ESTEEM.  I believe that a girl learns to fill the void with the compliments from the opposite sex because there is no male father figure to tell her she is beautiful and worth more than her physical appearance.  No worries though, as she grows older, like we all inevitably do, she will learn that SELF-ESTEEM is equivalent to self-respect and the key word in both is SELF.

self-esteemSelf is the foundation of appearance and one’s perception.  I didn’t really learn to ignore the compliments until I took a trip to Florida to visit my family that resides away from me.  I recall one day my father taking me to get my nails done and we went shopping for some other things.  He said to me, as we were getting ready to go back to his home, that any man can give me compliments and tell me I’m pretty; I should already know that.  He also said that if a man cannot provide for me and care for me and do all the things that we had done that day and more do not be impressed and do not be bothered with him.  Keeping in mind that I was in my teen years then, I know that he didn’t literally mean that a man should take me shopping and support my tastes.  I understood that he meant that if in a man’s heart there isn’t the desire to make me happy and the ability to see past looks and see me as a woman, don’t give him a chance.  My father probably doesn’t remember this conversation, but it stuck with me and served as a guideline for my standards.  His words aided in my perception of my own self-worth and self-respect…. Again, let me reiterate, self-respect equals SELF-ESTEEM.  I love me some me and I profess that one must love themselves before they can expect anyone else to love them. I would define SELF-ESTEEM as the standards one sets for their mate to meet because their mate is, in fact, a reflection of them, as illustrated in the study previously mentioned.  God bless and set your sights high.

Cori Riuna Echols (Guest Blogger)

Posted in Self-Esteem

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