The guest blogger this week is Tiffany Hickson Owner of 2TConsulting, LLC. Merriam – Webster defines CHANGE in several ways including: to make different in some particular way; to make radically different; to shift one’s means of conveyance; to undergo transformation, transition, or substitution.
Recently I was asked to participate as a guest blogger on this website. I reviewed the website and I was pleasantly surprised at the level of content. I agreed to participate and was given the word CHANGE. How ironic for a person like me who prefers to be in control and have order to be assigned the word CHANGE! As rational adults we all understand that just as time stops for no one, CHANGE is inevitable; however, how many times have we gone to great lengths to avoid, resist, or stop CHANGE. I have often struggled with when to create, force, and/or resist CHANGE.
From an early age a few key rules or principles were engrained into my mind: 1. Jesus is your Lord and Savior. He is the first “approval” you need for decisions. 2. Love yourself. 3. Love and be loyal to your family. 4. Always strive to do and be your best, regardless of obstacles you may face. 5. Work hard and with integrity. I believed I had the power to control my destiny and successfully follow all of the items above. One of the obstacles to me was CHANGE. The CHANGE from eight years of private school to public school – with less than a handful of friends…The CHANGE from thinking I had three siblings to discover I actually have four with one on the way…The CHANGE from thinking I would go to Spellman, then Georgia Tech, to attending Florida State…The CHANGE from thinking I would be married to being a single parent…The CHANGE from thinking I would be the President of a Fortune 500 company to becoming an entrepreneur fighting to grow my business.
When CHANGE was not caused by me or my actions (school and siblings), I would attempt to CHANGE the circumstances around the CHANGE (i.e. becoming engrossed in my studies determined to make the best grades possible; initially ignoring the fact that I had another sibling, as if it would go away; embracing the CHANGE in university and becoming active in several groups, finding a social life, making lifelong friends, and loving FSU, etc.). I worked hard to transform, substitute, make different, or resist the CHANGE that was imposed on me. I guess I was changing the CHANGE. In some cases I did what I needed to do to survive and make the best of the situation. In other cases I was wrong and I resisted CHANGE and ended up causing additional pain and hurt.
When CHANGE was caused by me or my actions (kids and career), I pretty much did the same thing. I worked to create, transform, substitute, make different, or resist the CHANGE. Although I made a CHANGE that led to me being a single parent, I made subsequent positive changes like forgiving myself and raising an amazing son. I realized that the courage I had to CHANGE my career opened up a new life for my son that continuing to climb the corporate ladder would likely not have afforded.
Throughout all of the CHANGE in my life, I remembered those rules engrained in my mind at an early age. What I have realized about myself is that the CHANGE in my life has shaped me into the woman I am today. I realized that my issues with CHANGE were based on my perception of what I should be or do with my life. It did not matter whether the CHANGE was caused by others or by me. My perception shaped my view of the CHANGE and the way I reacted to it. I now realize that those rules are great and were achieved because of and despite of CHANGE. I realized that the only thing that does not CHANGE for me is God’s plan and will for my life. I realized that the CHANGE had to start in my head.
My advice to others struggling with CHANGE is to embrace CHANGE. Let it transform you. Adjust and react to it as you deem necessary. The beauty and curse of CHANGE is that it is inevitable. Along the way as you make mistakes, pick yourself up and CHANGE your reaction and/or your perception. Don’t be afraid to instill and follow high standards. Just make sure to give yourself the memo that CHANGE is ok.
Finally I leave you with a bible verse that sums up my thoughts on CHANGE and transformation: Romans 12:2 (NIV) “Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.”
Posted in Change